Building a Life Together Under the Rainbow

Ericka and me in 1995 -- Wyoming

On Father's Day in 1995, I attended church service at the University of South Dakota Newman Center, a place known for its warm community and welcoming atmosphere. After the service, I had the chance to meet up with a girl that Sister Patty Ann had mentioned was nice, and it turned into an unexpectedly memorable encounter. The Newman Center was buzzing with the usual heartfelt conversations and friendly faces, but connecting with her added a special spark to the day. We decided to meet up for a bike ride later that afternoon, and the rest is history.

Ericka and I both considered ourselves straight, firmly anchored in our own identities, so when we decided to go on our first bike ride together, neither of us anticipated that the day would mark the beginning of something unexpected. As we pedaled side by side along the sun-dappled highway, the easy rhythm of our laughter and shared stories created an intimate space between us. Suddenly, amidst the gentle breeze and rustling leaves, I felt a bewildering spark—a fluttering sensation that made my heart race and my thoughts whirl in ways I hadn't experienced before. It was as if the simple act of riding alongside Ericka broke down invisible barriers, revealing a connection deeper than friendship and challenging everything we thought we knew about ourselves. That first bike ride became a pivotal moment, igniting feelings that led us both to explore new dimensions of identity, affection, and the beautiful unpredictability of human connection.

Over the remainder of that unforgettable summer, Ericka and I grew closer in ways I had never anticipated, navigating the exhilarating and tender landscape of our first same-sex love affair. Each day unfolded like a delicate discovery, where whispered conversations and shared laughter deepened our connection beyond friendship. We explored not only the vibrant Vermillion countryside and hidden coffee shops but also the uncharted emotions stirring within us, learning to embrace vulnerability and trust. The warmth of the summer sun mirrored the blossoming feelings between us, as we negotiated the complexities of new love—its joys, uncertainties, and the thrilling promise of something authentic and rare. That summer became a pivotal chapter in both our lives, marking the beginning of a beautiful journey of self-acceptance and profound companionship.

In July, I packed up my life and prepared for an exciting new chapter in Wyoming, eager to embrace the vast open spaces and rugged beauty of the Mountain West. Boxes were stacked, memories carefully tucked away, and the anticipation of fresh beginnings filled the air. However, the transition wasn’t quite as seamless as I had imagined, because Ericka had to stay behind in Vermillion for another semester to finish her coursework. This unexpected separation added a bittersweet note to my move, as we navigated the challenges of long-distance communication and the ache of missing each other in new surroundings. Despite the physical distance, we remained connected through weekly calls and shared plans for the future, turning what could have been a difficult time into an opportunity for growth, resilience, and hope-filled anticipation of the day we’d reunite.

As Ericka eagerly completed the final chapters of her degree at the University of South Dakota, I busily prepared the apartment in Evanston, Wyoming, to warmly welcome her for her December move. The contrast between the college town of Vermillion and the serene mountain town of Evanston was striking, but I wanted to make the transition as smooth and comforting as possible. I spent days adding cozy touches like soft blankets, warm lighting, and a few cherished mementos to create a space that felt like home. The anticipation of finally sharing day-to-day life together filled me with excitement, and I carefully mapped out plans to help Ericka adjust to the new environment—from introducing her to the local winter activities to stocking the kitchen with her favorite snacks after months apart. This thoughtful preparation was more than just about an apartment; it was about welcoming her into a new chapter of our lives, building a foundation grounded in love, support, and shared dreams.

When Ericka finally moved in with me to my apartment in Evanston, it was both exciting and a bit chaotic, especially since the place was only half furnished. The bare walls and sparse furniture gave the apartment a raw, unfinished feel, but it also opened up endless possibilities for us to make it our own little sanctuary. Adding to the lively atmosphere was my new puppy, Sampson, whose boundless energy filled every corner of the space. Sampson’s playful antics and curious nature brought a joyful distraction as we navigated the challenges of setting up the apartment together. From day trips to Salt Lake City to purchase furniture to spontaneous puppy play sessions, those early days were marked by a blend of hard work, shared laughter, and the beginning of new routines that quickly transformed the half-furnished apartment into a warm and welcoming home.

Even though living together was a new experience, our relationship felt effortlessly natural, as if we were two melodies harmonizing perfectly without any conscious effort. There was an instant attunement to each other’s needs—a subtle glance, a gentle touch, or a shared silence spoke volumes. This deep understanding created a safe space where compromise came easily, not out of obligation but from genuine respect and care. We navigated differences with grace, always prioritizing connection over conflict, allowing our bond to grow stronger without strain. It was as though our hearts and minds were instinctively aligned, making every challenge feel like a shared journey rather than a battle.

At the time, I didn’t realize that my first lesbian relationship would become so profoundly life-changing, eventually leading to marriage, children, and a celebration of our 30th anniversary. What started as a whirlwind of emotions, exploration, and the simple joy of connection gradually grew into a deep, unwavering bond built on trust, respect, and shared dreams. Neither of us could have predicted that those early days of discovery would lay the foundation for a family as we navigated the complexities and joys of parenthood together. Over the decades, our relationship has evolved and endured countless challenges, cultural shifts, and personal growth, evolving into a partnership that embodies resilience and love. Reflecting back, it’s incredible to recognize how that initial spark, once filled with uncertainty and hope, blossomed into a lifetime of commitment, support, and a shared history that neither of us could have imagined when we first said “hello.”