Double Disappointment

In 2020 I was being kept alive by an LVAD (Left Ventricular Assist Device), which meant my blood was being pumped through my body by battery power. At night I would disconnect the batteries and plug myself into a power outlet so the batteries could charge. This was an awkward position and caused many of my friends and relatives to chuckle.

I was sleeping soundly in the early morning hours of January tenth when my phone rang. I jerked awake and started frantically searching the side table for my phone. Once it was in my hand, I pressed the wrong button and disconnected myself from the call. Panic clutched my heart when I looked at the screen and realized it was the heart transplant team calling with news of an available heart.

I swore profusely, flipped on a light, and punched the call back number. A tranquil voice greeted me while encouraging me to take some calming breaths. There was a new heart available, and it could be mine if I wanted it. With a calmness I didn't feel, I accepted the heart.

This single phone call started me on a long adventure for which no one can prepare. According to family, my body returned from the transplant hooked to approximately twenty IVs as well as several different monitors. My mind was scattered; it wouldn't rebound for a few days. My family took this opportunity to play games with my feeble memory.

"Hey Tara, it's your family," announced a nurse. "This is your wife, Ericka."

To this announcement, I grimaced and stared in disbelief at the beautiful woman standing next to the bed. I had no recollection of our marriage and looked a bit disgusted at the prospect.

"Great! The new heart must have been from a straight person," proclaimed Ericka. “You’ve ruined a perfectly good lesbian!”

While my family laughed, I looked on with confusion. Who were these weirdos and why were they laughing at me.

The next person to speak was my sister, Pam. "I'm your sister, Tara." When I looked baffled, she continued with, "You can tell because we look alike!" The rest of the family howled and reminded Pam that I didn't remember what I looked like. They ribbed her ruthlessly over the foolish remark.

Medical staff put a procedure in place to ask me questions and remind me of who and where I was. Every time a nurse or doctor visited my side, they would follow the routine. On the second day, someone asked me to name the current president of the United States. I had no idea, so my brother piped up with "Donald Trump."

This elicited a mighty guffaw on my part! "No way! Why would we ever vote that dumb ass into office!?"

My family found this hilarious and started to pull up sites on their phones to prove Trump was indeed our president. I was impervious to their claims and staunchly refused to believe their evidence was anything more than a ploy to make me look like an idiot.

When my memory finally returned a few days later, I was heartbroken to discover Trump was indeed the president. It didn't shatter me like the election results of 2016, but I was extremely disappointed -- again. I sat in the hospital bed gloomily staring at the pictures of President Trump and Vice President Pence while my family snickered.

My brain eventually returned to normal. I reclaimed the memories of my loving wife and children, fully remembered my devoted parents, and recalled my obnoxious brothers and sister.

Thanks to my new heart, I lived to vote in the 2020 election! President Trump lost! It is now 2024 and my heart is steadily beating as the November election approaches and I can once again vote against Trump. I hope to see the end of the orange menace and the beginning of a new chapter for women in the United States.

I will proudly cast my vote for Harris and Walz!