Erased on Paper and in Law

Joannis with Josephine when she was a newborn.

Recently medically retired due to unforeseen health challenges, I found myself navigating a new and uncertain chapter of life, where the familiar rhythms of work and daily routine were abruptly altered. During this transition, relying on my school's disability insurance became not just a financial necessity but a vital source of stability and peace of mind. This support allowed me to focus on my health and wellness without the overwhelming stress of immediate financial burdens. While the journey of medical retirement is undoubtedly challenging, knowing I had this insurance to lean on provided a crucial foundation for rebuilding and adapting to my new reality.

I also feel deeply grateful to have Ericka’s medical insurance during this critical stage, as it serves as an indispensable safety net, delivering not just financial support but also peace of mind. Thanks to the extensive coverage it provides, I can obtain specialized cardiology treatment, necessary medications, and regular medical appointments to effectively monitor and manage my heart health, all without the persistent worry about excessive medical expenses. This backing enables me to fully embrace retirement, prioritize my health, and enjoy each day with assurance and calmness. In many respects, Ericka’s medical insurance represents more than a mere policy; it stands as a fundamental pillar of my well-being and an essential part of my path toward a healthier, more fulfilling future.

After receiving disability payments from Mutual of Omaha for an entire year, I was notified that to continue obtaining their aid, I needed to apply for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI). This shift represented a crucial phase in my experience since SSDI is a federal initiative aimed at offering long-term support to those unable to work due to disability. The application process for SSDI was intricate and demanding, requiring comprehensive medical records, detailed evaluations, and an extended waiting period. Despite these hurdles, I successfully navigated all the formalities and began receiving my Social Security benefits this spring, alongside a reduced payment from Mutual of Omaha. Things seemed to be proceeding smoothly until my case manager, Ryan, contacted me.

During our discussion, Ryan informed me that to maximize my benefits from Mutual of Omaha, I needed to list Josephine as my dependent. He thoroughly explained that filing an SSDI claim for Josephine was necessary to access additional financial assistance. He pointed out that while Mutual provides certain benefits, qualifying for SSDI could release an extra nine hundred dollars, which would substantially alleviate my financial strain. I felt genuinely frustrated that Ryan had not mentioned claiming Josephine when I initially filled out the SSDI application. It appeared to be a vital detail that had been missed, impacting both my income and the effort I had already invested. Considering the complexity and tediousness of SSDI paperwork, overlooking such a significant aspect not only caused undue stress but also meant I had to spend additional time and energy rectifying the issue. I wondered whether this omission was a mere oversight or a deliberate lapse in communication by Ryan. Regardless, the annoyance persisted because I now faced the daunting task of locating the correct forms, completing them, submitting the claim, and awaiting a response.

Upon conducting research, I learned that SSDI allows only one parent to claim a dependent. Since Ericka is already receiving benefits for Josephine, asking me to apply appeared redundant. I promptly messaged Ryan to explain this rule, but he quickly responded, clarifying that Mutual of Omaha has stringent policies to avoid duplicate payments. Consequently, they require an independent verification of Josephine’s eligibility, even though Ericka is currently receiving SSDI benefits. While this entailed extra paperwork and delays, I recognized it as a crucial step to prevent fraud. With a heavy sigh, I started the application process.

I meticulously navigated the My SSC website and finally found the appropriate SSDI dependent application form. The form was comprehensive, demanding detailed information regarding Josephine’s condition, medical records, and financial status. Taking care to fill out each section accurately, I ensured the form met all requirements. After reviewing everything thoroughly for completeness, I submitted the application via the online portal, feeling both relieved and satisfied. I believed this step brought me closer to securing the essential benefits from Mutual and patiently awaited the denial of my claim.

For a tense two months, I found myself checking the SSC portal daily, anxiously awaiting any updates on my claim, only to be met with silence and no news. The drawn-out wait was filled with a blend of hope and frustration as each day slipped by without advancement. Then, out of the blue, Ericka received a phone call alerting her that a fraudulent claim had been made concerning her dependent, Josephine. This revelation came as a sudden and confusing shock, especially since I had sincerely and diligently provided all the required paperwork. Facing the accusation of not being Josephine's legal parent, which prevented me from claiming her as a dependent, was a significant and unforeseen setback. Ericka informed the Social Security agent that on Josephine’s birth certificate, Dr. Jones had entered my name where the legal father’s should be, as we are a married couple who used a sperm donor. We were both taken aback when we found out that the Douglas County Health Department had erased my name from the certificate, thereby invalidating my parental rights.

Discovering that I am not legally recognized as Josephine’s mother, particularly given that she is now seventeen, was both a deeply unsettling and unexpected revelation. After all the years spent nurturing, supporting, and loving her as my own child, realizing that Douglas County had callously removed my name from her birth certificate felt as though a vital part of my identity had been stripped away in an instant. The emotional burden of this discovery is immense. Josephine is my daughter, yet the legal system’s unforeseen ruling threatens to disrupt the financial support I need to provide for her adequately and responsibly. Now, I face the daunting task of maneuvering through a complex legal maze to reinstate my parental status and secure Josephine’s future, all while contending with the profound sense of loss and uncertainty brought on by such a severe administrative betrayal.

I am left questioning if Mutual of Omaha will pay the extra monthly fees given that I am not named on Josephine’s birth certificate. This uncertainty has been troubling me as I await their opening tomorrow. Previously, they informed me that a definitive denial from the Social Security department was necessary to process payment. However, since my paperwork has been deemed fraudulent, the Social Security office refuses to provide any such documentation and won’t engage with me because I am not a legal guardian. Honestly, this situation is challenging me in ways I have never experienced before.

Although I may not hold the official title of Josephine’s legal guardian, the seventeen years we have shared together weave a bond far deeper than any document can define, making me her definitive mother in every meaningful sense. Through countless milestones, from sleepless nights to triumphant successes, I have been the constant presence offering unwavering support, guidance, and unconditional love. Our journey has been shaped by laughter, tears, challenges, and growth, each moment reinforcing the profound connection that transcends legalities. By supporting her aspirations, easing her worries, and honoring what makes her unique, I have watched her grow into an extraordinary individual; and in doing so, I’ve become an essential chapter in her life journey.  This profound, shared experience embodies the true essence of motherhood—one rooted in dedication, sacrifice, and boundless affection—making me undeniably her mother in heart and soul.

Tomorrow, as I contact Mutual of Omaha, my hope is that they will acknowledge the documents Ericka acquired from SSDI, which verify that Josephine is receiving benefits and that I do not qualify. If my claim is rejected on the grounds that my name does not appear on the Birth Certificate, then the fight to uphold both Josephine’s and my rights will begin. This path may challenge my endurance, yet it simultaneously strengthens my determination. No matter what obstacles arise, I will remain steadfast, not only to secure the benefits Josephine is entitled to but also to affirm the vital role I play in her life. For motherhood extends beyond legal papers; it is a dedication etched deeply within the heart.

Our Princess, Josephine