Mother of the Year

After a challenging pregnancy where she seemed eager to make an early exit, our second born, Josephine, made her entrance into the world. The first month was particularly difficult, as she was kept in a corner of our living room inside an incubator, donned in a lightweight suit whenever we wished to hold her delicate six-pound frame. From the very beginning, it was clear that this spirited child was determined to assert her preferences; she would not remain on her back. Though we gently placed her on her back in the incubator, it wouldn't be long before a soft grunt would escape her, followed by a few kicks before she turned onto her side, settling in for a nap. Ultimately, we decided to purchase a foam brace that kept her securely on her side, alleviating our concerns about her potentially rolling over and suffocating.

Josephine was an exceptionally easy baby. She enjoyed long naps, loved being held, and seldom showed any signs of distress or cried. Ericka and I cherished this simplicity, especially since our first child, Joanna, had colic as a baby, which made things challenging. Our little darling was adored by everyone; we seized every chance to boast about her undeniable charm. Once she reached her first birthday, her strong personality emerged, and her mischievous side turned out to be more challenging than any tales we had heard about the so-called terrible twos.

Our determined little one resorted to hair pulling, biting, swiping our glasses away with great force, and yelling whenever we attempted to correct her. Josephine, who was a late walker, didn't take her first steps until she was eighteen months old, and until she reached the age of two, her only word was "NO." She found joy in playing on the living room floor, happily surrounded by her toys, as long as we left her undisturbed. In contrast, Joanna, who was nearly four years her senior, delighted in darting past her and snatching her toys. This frequently caused disturbances, resulting in dramatic outbursts as Josephine flailed on the ground, screaming.

While I was tidying up the kitchen after lunch one day, I suddenly heard Joanna shout, "Let go, Josephine!" With a sigh, I wiped my hands and made my way to the living room to see what was going on. There, I found Josephine tugging on clumps of Joanna's hair, pressing her face into the carpet. Her small knuckles turned pale as she gripped the hair tightly, a broad grin stretching across her face. I couldn't help but feel a bit of pride in her resourcefulness, knowing that Joanna had instigated the altercation. After a few minutes of coaxing, I managed to persuade her to let go of her sister’s hair. I then turned to Joanna, scolding her for teasing her younger sibling. Attempting to reprimand Josephine proved futile as she displayed no sign of regret; in fact, she seemed rather pleased with herself.

At that point in my life, I received a diagnosis of a severe heart condition from my doctors. While medication controlled my arrhythmia for the most part, there were moments when my heart would race and flutter, leaving me feeling drained. Ericka's night shift schedule meant I was responsible for taking care of the kids after a tiring day of teaching. Although it was a challenging responsibility, her job allowed them to have limited time with a babysitter. With her leaving for work at five o'clock and bedtime being at eight, I had merely three hours to manage parenting duties before I could take a breather.

One evening of solo parenting when Josephine was just two years old, I found it impossible to stay calm. After dinner, I slumped into a chair, feeling irritable and unwilling to engage with the kids. At this point, Joanna's ADHD was untreated, and she zoomed around, crashing toys into the walls while adding her own sound effects. To calm her down, I put on her favorite video, The Polar Express. Meanwhile, Josephine was demanding my undivided attention, throwing toys everywhere. I attempted to hold her, but she pushed my hands away and knocked off my glasses. When I tried putting her in time-out, she wouldn’t remain seated on the little stool, opting instead to throw herself onto the carpet and scream. Despite my efforts to keep my composure, at that moment I completely lost my shit!

As I bent down to pick up the struggling child from the floor, anger flushed my face. The moment I seized her, an excruciating pain surged through my chest, causing me to collapse to my knees. Despite this, my stubborn nature, much like that of my youngest daughter, compelled me to ignore the discomfort and enforce discipline. While Josephine continued to wail, I took hold of her flailing feet and pulled her across the carpet toward her room. Once inside, I shouted something foolish like, "Stay in here until you behave," before storming out and slamming the door behind me. Undoubtedly, this incident would eliminate any chance I had for Mother of the Year.

I returned to the living room, where Joanna was engrossed in her film, blissfully unaware of the emotional outburst I had just experienced. I reached out to my friends, Terry and Sue, to check if either of them could watch the kids while I headed to the hospital. They quickly arrived, offering to drive me, but I chose to drive myself instead, allowing Sue to stay with the children and Terry to go back home. Once I reached the hospital, the medical team concluded that I needed cardioversion, so they admitted me and scheduled the procedure for the next morning, when Ericka would be by my side. Thankfully, my episode hadn’t resulted in any long-term harm to my heart health.

Over the years, Josephine has demonstrated a predominantly pleasant disposition, complemented by a hint of stubbornness that adds intrigue. Generally, we share a strong bond and appreciate our time together, whether we're commuting to school, constructing with Legos, or watching films. Nevertheless, our strong-willed natures can lead to heated disagreements, resulting in loud arguments as we each try to establish our dominance. At this pace, I seriously question my chances of becoming Mother of the Year!